The End is in Sight!!! DAMMIT!! So Soon??

Well folks, this is it. Two years of sweat, toil, torment and frustration, and I have arrived at my goal. Dammit, I didn't want this to end so soon!! I use those negative terms because, I won't lie, there were times when I thought that if one more person assigned me one more paper, I would do some serious shit flipping, close the books and look for the nearest fast food joint and fill out an application... or get a happy meal...probably get the happy meal; I am all about the toy. But then, the assignment got done, the test got written, the marks came back and I would slap another goofy smile on my face because once again, I proved to myself that the dream I had kept on a back burner for so long was still on track to becoming a reality, and I did have it in me to accomplish my major life goal. There have been wonderful times as well, many, many more than the bad ones, and along the way I have met many amazing people who will always stay a part of me no matter where I go in life. There have been my three amazing instructors, Wendy, Anne and Thea who have broadened my mind in so many different directions and have shown me that what I had originally considered impossible is now almost a done deal. Just so you know, Anne would be the one responsible for the blog about accounting, accounting, among other things would be her cup of tea. Not mine, mind you, I still hold with the idea that accounting is the spawn of Satan, but, oh well, not everyone is up to the challange of counting all those beans, power to the ones who can and keep their sanity. I must say that I do thank her for what she has shown me, she has helped me prove to myself that I can overcome what seems like mission impossible, and for that I truly thank her. Wendy was the unstructor accountable for all of the high blood pressure moments I experienced in classes such as Contemporary Business and Management. I have always lived in my own little world that has been well guarded from things such as evil wrong doing by corporate big wigs and the government and such, and because she brought about the knowledge that not everything was as peachy keen as what I wanted it to be, I swear there were times I had a blood pressure of 200 over 200. The world was not as pretty a place as I had it painted, in fact there were spots that were pretty shitty, if I could be allowed to use the term. Well, I am using the term, it is my blog, so there. Getting back to the topic at hand, the high blood pressure was not wasted on me, it served to educate me and show me that if there were things I did not like in the world, either do something about it or shut the hell up about it. She showed me that my voice does count, and that I can make a difference if I want to in a world that needs to have some differences made in it, and for that I truly thank her. Then there is Thea. In the first couple of months, I will be truthful, she scared me. Thea was very quiet, and for me, that is terrifying. Thea would remain quiet, look, mentally take notes and keep them to herself. That often made me wonder things like whether or not my shirt was tucked in properly, did I have the proverbial toilet paper stuck to the heel of my shoe,(which incidentally I did at one point, but that is another story) and would I be able to come up with an interesting topic of conversation if the need presented itself... pleeeeeeeeeease don't leave me to try to fill up all of the dead air because I will turn into a babbling idiot!! Every time!! Thea taught me the mechanics of the business world; the proper business grammar, the protocol, the dynamics of how people interact in a business setting, and after having several classes with her I came to realize Thea was nothing like what she first appeared to be. Thea, being an accomplished author, is the type of person who will quietly assess people and situations, and store these facts away for future assessment. She watches the human condition and learns from it, and teaches us how to do the same, and for showing me how to do this as well as what was on the curriculum, I truly thank her. There have been many more people who have had a great influence on me, I may tell you about them at a later date, but for now, I would just like to let this be about the three people who have shown me so much, not only what has been read and written down, but also what couldn't be found in the books and on the tests, and that is that I have what it takes to accomplish my dream, to see in myself that I do have the tenacity, and to be able to get it once I knew how badly I wanted it, and for that I truly thank them with all of my heart. Do you need a kleenex? I have a box right here beside me; your welcome. And still, for the record~~ ACCOUNTING IS SATAN!!!! Ciao all, have a great one. ~~ Sue

End Of First Year Thoughts Well I know for a fact that I will never be an accountant. One full school year of bending, folding and otherwise cruelly torturing innocent and helpless little numbers into spaces of ledgers they were never meant to be has tought me that. I have also learned that binders from 'Staples' office supply stores are not all they are cracked up to be. I mean really~~ busting and falling apart after only two biffs into the wall? Really~~ what kind of quality is that I ask you? To my overwhelming disbelief, I actually passed accounting with a really nice grade. I have to believe that my instructor was being exceptionally good hearted with the mark she gave me, otherwise I would have had to take the course over and we both know there would be no surviving it a second go-round. The poor soul had to drag me kicking and screaming through it as it was. She handed me back the final test and the rest of the assignments she had graded, and had my finishing mark written on the front page, and all I could do was just stand there with my mouth open in disbelief. She kept pushing the pile of papers at me, wanting me to take them and all I could think was "That can't be mine, I had better not touch.", so I kept backing away from them. Finally, with the threat of being 'bapped' (you know, what you do to a pup with a rolled up newspaper) with them, I finally accepted them and walked around in joyous disbelief for the rest of the day. That is only one of many life lessons I have learned this year, along with numerous other things I never would have pictured myself learning a year ago. For example. Annuities. Did you know there are simple annuities, general annuities and annuities due? Did you also know they can either be future or present? Neither did I until I started math this semester. Math which I never thought I would ever see again once I graduated high school, but lo and behold, there it was in all its radient glory, there for me to wade through and hopefully make sense of. And that was just one chapter!! There were half a dozen more, each with their own tricks and treats. I made it through tho, and I am proud to say I did very well on the math, which I came to find out later was actually called 'quantitative math', which made me feel even smarter. 'quantitative'...sounds so much ritzier than just maaaaaaaaaaaaaath. And for anyone who reads this, if you are still in high school, for crap sake do NOT argue with your math teacher that you will never use that stuff once you graduate. That WILL come back to bite you in the ass, I am living proof of it. I learned that I am easily incensed by politics. I never knew that about myself before. We learned a lot about politics through economics, and I have to say that there are things going on in the world that truly piss me off, and that really rattle my cave. I have to say that is a good thing tho, I believe I have been to insulated and needed to see what has been happening beyond my doorstep. I haven't liked a lot of it, and I have to tell you that when I am made Prime Minister a lot of that poo will be coming to a screeching halt, but for now, I will have to be content with graduating from my course. THEN, dammit, you just watch my smoke. I am a computer nerd. I never thought I would ever say that. I have found spread sheets and data bases to be my friends, and took immense pleasure in doing Microsoft turorials and case studies while other normal people would actually go outside and participate in things like LIFE. Who would ever have thought it?? I guess everyone is good at something, I am good at that; and wiggling my ears. I have learned that for the most part, we were all there as much for the food as for the learning, maybe even more for the food, now that I think of it. Our class had four pot lucks. Damn they were good. I cannot say how fortunate I consider myself to be to be in a class of people who are such good cooks and also love to eat as much as I do. Gawd blessum!! The sad part of it was, even tho we knew we had class after our potlucks, and knew we were supposed to actually DO work, we were so turkey coma-ed from eating that most of us would just sit in the seats and stare vacantly with glassy eyes as the instructor tried her hardest to keep us on track. Every one of us would nod our heads and try very hard to follow the conversation so that we could make intellectual comments as befitted a class of future business professionals, but in actula fact the best we all could manage was a burp or two that we would try to stifle but usually never quite managed. Speaking of food, I am at a loss as to who is going to feed me now that I have the summer to myself. The two women that ran the cafeteria made the best food I have ever eaten. I spoke previously about one of the cooks, Donna, who was like our 'School Mom', by the end of the first week she knew everyone, their family, their favorite foods and how they were doing in school. She and Shirley, who worked there too, were like cafeteria ninjas, they rarely ever moved in a rush, but if you blinked, and then blinked again, there would be mountains of food where there was none a second ago. I do not know if I can articulate the words that would adequately express the joy I would have on the days I would go to the cafeteria in the morning and Donna was just taking home-made chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. They were like eating the absolute best chocolate chip cookies in the history of all chocolate chip cookies; ever; to infinity;.....riding a unicorn. You see where I am going with this now? I also learned that my age didn't automatically resign me to 'mutant' status. I was so scared that I would be like some ancient old hag that came down off the mountainside to see what the villagers were up to, but it wasn't like that at all. Nothing like that mattered to anyone in the school; not the instructors or the others in my class. It felt so good to actually blend in. I came to realize that the school I am attending, is more like a really big family. Everyone knows everyone. I personally think we came together as a really good bunch, we have had a bazillion laughs together, we have all helped with the tears, the troubles and the times when it seemed like there was no way to go foreward, we all helped with all of that because we came together as class mates and ended up as friends, and these friends are people I will never forget as long as I live. It is already the end of the first year of school, and I have to say, I am thoroughly pissed off about this. HALF of my two years is already over. It has gone way too fast. This is one of the best things I have ever done and I don't want to see it fly by in a heartbeat. There are way too many good things happening to see it end. I know eventually it will be over, we will all finish here and go on to do great things, but not so soon. Please, not so soon. Some of the people I have come to know will not be returning in the fall. They have finished their courses and are graduating. It will be hard to think of returning without them, they have come to mean a great deal to me, and to go back knowing they won't be there is breaking my heart a little. Just thinking about it now makes my heart hurt some, so I can only imagine that when it comes time for us to graduate I will be not much more than an emotional wreck having a meltdown in the corner somewhere. Until then I will just have to forget about that, concentrate on being all nerdy and computer literate, and just have the best time I possibly can, so that when the time comes to step out of this good place for the last time and into the sunshine,I will have a heart-load of memories to treasure. Have a good summer everyone, keep on the sunny side and see you in September. ♥Sue

Whew!! The end of the semester is here. I am still alive. I still have my sanity...well, what sanity I had starting this little adventure is still somewhat intact, I have never bragged to anyone that I was ever completely stable. I have not been this stressed in years. At the beginning of the year it seemed like such a huge adventure. Anything I start new like this is just beyond fun, in my mind. I know, I am a book nerd, so be it. Some people enjoy running for 18 straight hours until their legs curl up like pretzels and they need to be transported in a wheelbarrow to their place of residence, some people like to travel great distances in all kinds of weather to sit in the cold rain to watch an odd bird of some sort do the hoky-pokey infront of a potential mate, I happen to love to learn things so this has been an absolute joy to me...until this month. This month has been different. This month has found us all scrambling to finish reports, put together things like seminars and powerpoint presentations, there has been the added pressures of trying to study for numerous tests and the list goes on and on, and yes, I understood this from the beginning, I knew this was what was going to happen, but it still does not make it any easier when crunch time comes and we are all down to the wire. I have to mention my powerpoint presentations. The very first one I put together was so bad. I mean, think of it like this~~ I am sure you have all seen a picture of the 'Mona Lisa', well think of what a stick figure would look like beside it and that would be my very first powerpoint presentation; the stick figure, not the 'Mona Lisa'. It served its purpose, but since we had not formally learned how to put a powerpoint together it had a lot to be desired. Once we learned powerpoint, well boys and girls!! I put my next one together with every bell and whistle Microsoft had included with the application. My pictures flew, they swirled, they increased in size, faded, changed color and bounced. They vortexed, cubed and even disappeared and reappeared. I was a powerpoint GENIUS!! I was so sure that my powerpoint would be the total envy of everyone; that is, until I took a look at the finished product. The instructors here have all told us to beware of a thing called 'death by powerpoint', where your presentation just goes on and on forever and people eventually expire from the sheer overwhelming boredom of the whole thing. Mine had a little variation on that theme. Mine was 'death by powerpoint~~ EXPLOSION' There were so many bells and whistles that I feared someone would have an epileptic seizure from watching it and need to be hospitalized. Needless to say I toned it down some and eventually produced a fairly decent presentation. At least I think so anyway... virdict is still out on the instructor and eight other students that watched it and went running from the room screaming. Anyhoo, as I sit here making this blog, on the second to last day of school before the Christmas vacation, and YES people, I say CHRISTMAS, not 'holiday', not 'winter event' and not any other stupid politically correct term for what I love to celebrate, I am very pleased to say that the huge list of things I had to accomplish when this month started is now all yellow-ed. That means that in my agenda, where all these things have been written down, I have crossed them all off with a beloved yellow hi-liter, which means they are finished. Those jobs are done. They have all been accomplished and now I can safely breathe a huge sigh of relief and sit back and be proud of myself. It has been a lot of stress for us, and I, for one, do not deal well with an over abundence of stress, it does funny things to me, like making me forget simple tasks like how to breathe, looking at people I know and wondering who they are, standing out on the deck at 2:30 in the morning in my jammies and thinking I should probably go to school and get a head start on the day, you know, silly little things like that. Crazy I know but that is the way it is. I have learned some things tho, I have learned that, even though I have done well this semester there are ways to do even better, like how to budget my time, how to do reports better and how not to stress so badly that I turn funny colors and eat cat food. I have also learned one more thing. I have learned that I am truly blessed to be able to endure this stress, to be able to put myself to the test and see that I can actually accomplish these tasks that have been set out before me, because as I write this, I have to think of the thousands and thousands of people this time of year, and all throughout the year as far as that goes, who, due to no fault of their own, are not able to enjoy any of the things I take for granted. So all in all, I have to say I am very happy with my life and the way things are going, and now that our semester is just about over we will all be able to have a bit of a rest before we have to gear up for Christmas, or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever we all celebrate. So, in closing, I hope you have a merry 'whatever-you-celebrate', I know I will, please remember that there are those who could benefit from any kindnesses you could bestow upon them, no matter how small, and, just incase you were worried, I am no longer stressed enough that my kitty needs to share her kibbles with me. Peace out ma peeps.

Test Day

Oh dear Lawrd it is test day. We have known about this test for over a week, and it was only (ONLY) two chapters long, so it should have been all good, right? Well. I don't know about how the weekend went for the rest of the class, but for me there was no less than fourteen, count them FOURTEEN different school related items on my to-do list, plus go shopping, plus get ready for Thanksgiving, plus a mountain of laundry and yadda, yadda, yadda. Yeah, I know, that has to all come into account when going to school, deal with it, pull up your big-girl panties and so on, but still, all those things do not add to the hours in a day, they take away from them, and something ends up getting the hind you-know-what and that happened to be the two chapters for the test. OH pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop. As I sat in the class just before it was time to take the actual test, I thought back to all the moments I had let slip by and essentially wasted instead of putting them to good use and studying. Idiots do that. High school kids do that. Adults are not supposed to do that. Adults learn from their childhood and put those lessons to good use so that problems like not studying are nipped in the bud and time is organized and put to good use and chapters are read and re-read and terms are memorized and pictures are analyzed and................oh poop twice. The test was Wednesday morning and Tuesday evening I am sitting in the kitchen with books and notes and the cat looking me in the face and the computer seductively calling my name, telling me there are some IMPORTANT messages on Twitter I should be looking at, and oh maybe if I get myself a snack I will be able to concentrate better and..... crap~ who am I kidding? I busted the weekend and should have studied and didn't. It is now Wednesday morning about a half hour before the test, I am calm, there really is no reason to be anything but.I made my decisions and now I just have to deal with the outcome. I scanned through the two chapters, trying to look like I knew everything there was to know about markets, analysis, shares, profits, customeers and so on, hoping that my poor tired brain would please absorb just a little more so that I would pass and not be a disgrace to the marketing world, and would eventually end up with a good job and not be left penniless out on the street with a cardboard box as my new home because I couldn't get a job to support myself and my cat, she is very high-maintainance and can only eat a certain kind of kibble and oh God I felt like I was going to fall apart into very small pieces on the cold unyielding floor and in comes the instructor. It is go time now friends and neighbors. To varying degrees everyone was reflecting what I was feeling, so I really felt like we were all united in our pain, so that gave me some comfort in knowing we were together in this battle, we were all fighting the same enemy and we would all either triumph or all go down in flames, but we would be together. We would go through this as a unit, together we stand, united we fall, you see the picture,I'm sure. Here we go. The paper is now infront of me, it is time to put the rubber to the road and actually look the thing over and start answering the questions. I read the first question and found I had actually lost the ability to comprehend the english language. I am not sure what language I was reading but it made absolutely no sense to me what so ever. I might as well just sign my name to the paper and be pleased with the half point I would get for doing that right; I checked; I did spell my name correctly. I blinked a couple of times and english slowly replaced the foreign words on the test paper and I actually started finding some questions I knew the answer to, so I kept going, hoping that the look on my face was one of intelligence but I was pretty sure it was like Goofy's look when he went down the ski slope. It didn't matter anyways, by that time I had finished the test and handed it in and sat in the chair feeling like the world's dummest old person who had no reason to be sitting in a chair beside all the young people who still had functioning braincells that had not been corrupted by old age and what ever else I could blame my impending test failure on. I knew there was no point in going on, I was destined to fail and would have to give my cat to someone who probably would not feed her the kind of food she was used to and where in hell would I get a cardboard box to fit me? My life was in ruins and there was no point in even bothering to try anymore and OH CRAP here comes the instructor back with our test results. Oh my freakin' hell I can tell just the way she singled me out with that look that I was the only one in the freakin' class that failed and God somebody shoot me now before I actually turn the marked test over and see..........................................................21/25. 21/25??? That seems to translate into 84%. I passed. Sweet niblets I passed. Frankly I don't understand what the problem was, I really didn't have any worries.........

Accounting, AKA, The Spawn of Satan

I will not ever profess that I have had any kind of love affair with numbers, as far as I am concerned they are basically kept on call for things like keeping pages of books straightened out and reminding me just how many kilometers I am going past the posted speed limit, and other than that I really have not got a whole lot of use for them. Don't get me wrong, I do understand their importance and value, it is just that I have never found any real romance with them, so numbers and I have basically gone about our merry ways...until now. Since being back in school and taking the business administration course, I have found that I can no longer route my way around anything number related as I am now in an accounting course. A good analogy would be a person with a fear of bees taking up bee keeping. I decided to be optimistic about the whole thing, I sucked at high school math, but that was the stuff that was, in my mind, meant to teach a person how to bend light years into fractals and chart the courses of stars and such. Make no sense? It never did to me either. I never got anywhere near high powered math, considering how bad I was with regular math, so being sent to school and being made to endure the tortures of quadratic formulas and sines and cosines and the like just gave me a natural fear and wariness of anything numeric, no matter what it was. I looked through the accounting books and decided they would not be my enemies, they would be my very best friends. I would cherish them, love them and absorb every ounce of wisdom they had to tell me and I would be one with the numeric world instead of shunning it as I had done in the past; yeah, right. It wasn't too bad in the beginning, there was a lot of reading, which was good, telling about single proprietorships and revenues and so on, all things I could deal with, they were describing numbers and so far we were still on track as being best buds. Then came the fateful day when we actually had to start doing charts and things like that, and numbers started showing up like wild tigers being let loose from their cages. At first things were good, I was able to deal with them, and then things started to get curly. All the theory that we had been reading about needed to be put in practice and we had to balance statements, and calculate equity and all the things that meant I could see my love affair with numbers quickly turning into a hate-filled relationship. Really~~ who actually does these things? Who really balances all these equations and keeps all these things straight in thier head, much less in a book somewhere? I know, accountants do this, people who apparently love to see their braincells bleed and burst from the sheer agony of keeping all these things straight, people who must love to see a new tax rule or accounting regulation come into being so they can back-dive into those numbers and make them all neat and tidy once again, people who apparently live a strange and rather sado-masochistic life, in my eyes anyways. This would all pass by my thoughts as I tried to balance numbers that, once again, would slip through my grasp and stand off far enough that they could laugh at me but not get cought. I hated them. I hated them with every fiber of my being. I was the one who wanted to be their friends. I was the one who was willing to open up my heart and offer them solace when things were getting too rough for them out in the real world but no~ they spurned me and set the stage for war. Questions in the workbook were assigned to us in class~ the numbers and I fought hard, each side taking hit upon hit, we would both retreat to lick our wounds and then we would go back to the battleground for another round, and it all culminated in the epic battle~~ our first accounting assignment that I had to do on my own and pass in. It seemed like I was going to die on the battleground with this one. I would start with the determination that I WOULD win. I would be victorious and pass this in with no problem, and then anarchy. I would inevitably make a mistake somewhere and the whole thing would go to hell in a hand basket and once again I would end up hating accounting, and calling it names I never even knew I knew. this went on for a whole weekend and still I never accomplished what I had set out to do. Problem was, I was maddeningly close. Close enough that I could almost smell victory. Almost. With a heavy heart I went to school on the day I had to turn in the assignment, still close to completion but with two tiny mistakes keeping me from my prize. God bless Lisa and Brenda, they helped me see where my mistake was and I finally finished it and with a sigh of exhaustion I gave the instructor the assignment; torn, bloody and nearly unrecognizable but still on her desk and out of my hands. A few days passed and the instructor gave us back the assignments. I hated to think about my mark. I knew it would be disasterous and I hated accounting all the more for it. Accounting was destroying my life and causing me no end of pain and heartache, not to mention an ulcer; for a fact. I looked down at the paper and saw...SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!!!!!!!!! !00% correct. I love accounting!! :) More later, keep it real friends, ♥Sue.

Technology, part 2

From my earlier ramblings about the adventures of my beginning computer days, I now bring you to the present. Oh, and by the way, I am not in any way endorsing turning your computer off improperly, so kids, don't do that at home; and always wear your safety goggles. Anyhoo, as I was going to say, I have come a long way from those days. I am very proud to say that I think I am pretty good at making my way around a computer, I have tought myself a lot, I have learned a lot from my best friend Nicole, who's greatest words of wisdom have been that right clicking is your best friend, and 'Did you clean out your computer like I told you to?' Thanks to Nicole for being so patient. I am pretty damn snazzy at typing too. I tought myself to type at nearly forty words a minute with nothing more than a typing program that I tought myself, and that, to me, was something to be proud of. So what the hell happened? Duh, duh duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~ computer class. I went from being top dog in my little world to rank amateur in the real world. Wow. What a reality check. I was so surprised at how little I really know about the computer that I play on. It seems as strange to me as the first day it entered my house. I started the computer class very optimistic. We did the basics like naming the various parts, yeah, good, I was with it so far, naming the different internal components, yup, Discovery Channel had covered those so I was still cruisin' with the top down, and then we started with bits, bytes, nano this and terra that, and what was the hard drive capabilities of such and so computer and so on and so on, and up to this point I never really cared just as long as I could play the games I liked and do some more electronic hoarding on Pinterest. So basically the fabric of lies I had told myself concerning my takeover of the world of technology shredded to pieces at my feet, and I quickly learned that I KNEW NOTHING!! Bummer. I also quickly learned how to nod my head with what I assumed was a competent look on my face and make believe I actually knew what I was doing. I look like I know what your talking about, right? Good. Faked you out again. Well friends, the work had started. The instructor wanted an e-mail sent. After much deliberation and some help from others I managed it. Good. I was a computer tech now, right? Oh yeah, Sue, you just keep telling yourself that. Next it was a bit more in depth. Open this, compress that, send another thing and file that under what ever. I was freaking! I never had to do this before, I had no clue and whats more, I was terrified. If I could not do this stuff, the simple things that were the foundation of the class, what chance did I have when the real poop hit the henhouse? I struggled with the things that the others were breezing through, and under my breath,(probably not so under my breath if I really think about it) I started muttering details of the hideous things I was going to do to the computer I was working on if it soon didn't divulge the whereabouts of the damn file I needed to open to get this part of the chapter finished. Things like scissors to certain vital cords, and crumbs and such to some inner workings and a really nasty sneeze to the monitor if it soon did not agreeing to my demands. And then it happened. I actually had to do something I understood. I had to change font sizes, use italics, use the bold button, all things I knew. Praise the powers that be I was actually getting the hang of it!!! And as if that wasn't just the dip on my chips, I actually was able to help someone else with what they were doing. Oh freakin' Em Gee. I am not saying it has been smooth sailing since that day, there was a quiz that sent me to the washroom ready to throw in the towel, but I had to laugh at myself after the whole stupid thing was over, I was so nerved up over the fact that we were actually being quized that I froze and could not for the life of me read the one word that was the key to the whole thing. I did manage to get the quiz done and I even made a 91 on it thank you very much, so once again, a valuable lesson was learned that day. I am not sure exactly what it was, but I will figure it out,I am sure. No really, I am joking!! I did learn from that little adventure that I have to stop panicking and expecting the worst to happen, and just get 'er done. And for crap sake Susan use some common sense!! Things have gone much better since then, we are learning all different things on Microsoft Word, which is a playground for me. I actually love working on this part of the course because for the most part I understand it and I can actually DO it. Matter of fact today, I typed up a wonderful letter according to the instructions, complete with all the appropriate bells and whistles, even the italics and the bold all where it was supposed to be, formatted so beautifully that the angels in heaven were weeping tears of joy. Problem was, it was question three I was supposed to work on, not question two. Sigh.....but it was such a lovely letter... More adventures for you later. Keep on keepin' on, ♥Sue.

Well Wasn't That Exciting!!

A few days ago it happened again; the fire alarm sounded. I thought I had made it perfectly clear what my views were on fire alarms~ if my ass wasn't on fire than leave me alone. Problem was, that was not the fire alarm~ it was, we thought, the lock down alarm~ the alarm that sounds when there is danger present in the school. Our instructor told us to start the lock down procedure, and I will not get into it here for obvious reasons, but as we did what we were trained to do, the look on our instructor's face was enough to tell me this was apparently not a practice run. I stood there looking at each person in the room with me, and their expressions ranged from a look of disbelief to fear to resignation, but on each person's face I could also see a look of 'What if this is the real deal? What if there is a gunman in the school?' At this point I have to say I am very glad I had stopped to use the 'litterbox' before that class, otherwise there possibly would have been a more pressing problem to deal with as panic usually makes my bladder go into overdrive, and as far as that goes, I actually defy anyone to say that a situation like that would not test the capabilities of even the best adult undergarment on the market. Also, I have to say, I am extremely proud that I stayed completely calm instead of my usual screaming like a girl when the pressure gets too bad; and yes I know I am a girl, but I have to tell you I am the reason this saying came into effect. I can break plate glass windows when I am properly geared up. Anyway, as we stood there, each thinking our own thoughts, I had words flitting through my head like 'Montreal shootings' and 'Columbine shootings' and even though we live in Upper Middle Podunk, Canada, there is no reason to believe we are exempt from the violence that has pervaded the rest of the world. It is a sad thing that we do not have the reassurance that earlier generations had, I can remember when I was a kid that there was never a need to lock a door, people just never encountered the need to have a suspicion of anyone. I am saddened that future generations will never know that kind of security. As the moments wore on, it became increasingly clear that this was a false alarm. People were back in the hallways, voices could be heard, even laughter a couple of times, so we cautiously began to see what the problem was, and come to find out, it was the burglar alarm that had malfunctioned. Whew. I don't know about anyone else, but the relief I felt hit me like a boxing glove to my stomach. I tried very hard to be all 'Yeah, I wasn't scared', but I am pretty sure that the look on my face told everyone a different story, and yeah, truth be told, I was friggin' terrified. It was a good practice run for just in case the real thing ever happened, and as I looked around at the room at all the people I had just met, and some of the ones I already knew, I can remember saying a little 'thank you' to God that nothing horrible happened, because in that moment of silence when we were all standing huddled together I can remember very clearly thinking that even though we had mostly all just met this month, there was not a single person that had not left their signature on my heart, and I really could not imagine giving up any one of them. So to all my friends~~ you are da bomb and I think the world of you. Love and peace all, and keep it real. More for you later. ♥Sue.